


Hawksilver Soulmate!AU

by Xenia



Series: Multifandom Soulmate!AU [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-26
Updated: 2017-04-26
Packaged: 2018-10-24 09:08:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10738581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenia/pseuds/Xenia
Summary: Pietro and Clint are still Avengers. And Pietro still dies in the fight with Ultron. Or does he?





	Hawksilver Soulmate!AU

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Chaos_is_relative](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_is_relative/gifts).



> In this AU everyone is deaf until they meet their soulmate. And when their soulmate die they lose the ability to hear.   
> I have no idea why in a universe where everyone is deaf, everyone can talk out loud. It's just the way it is.
> 
> Also I'm not sure I really caught the voices of the characters... but it took me a long time to write this and all things considered I'm pretty happy with this story. 
> 
> This was supposed to be a birthday present... but then her birthday passed and Christmas passed... So this is a birthday present, a Christmas present a present for every Christmas and birthday I missed.

Almost eight months after of his soulmate’s death and Clint could still hear. And he wished he wouldn’t.   
Sometimes his world fell silent and Clint hoped that was it, that it would stay silent forever. But sound always came back, maybe after a week, maybe after a month, maybe only after a few hours. But it always came back. Always.   
Sometimes the sounds were muffled, like they came from very far away from him, and he always hoped that this was a sign. That they would disappear totally and he would never hear anymore.   
But he wasn’t that lucky. After a while the volume grew again  
It wasn’t supposed to be like that. After the death of the soulmate the hearing loss wasn’t immediate. The sounds became muffled and slowly they disappeared totally. It usually took a couple of days, a week tops; and then the survivor was left to mourn in peace in his silent world. It was always like that. But not for Clint.   
For some reason eight months after Pietro’s death and Clint could still hear. It was awful, every time the sound disappeared it was like losing him all over again. And there was a part of him that hoped that he could still hear because maybe Pietro was still alive.   
But he knew it couldn’t be.   
The nightmares he had every night were proof enough that Pietro was death.   
Every night, hell every time he closed his eyes, Clint was back in Sokovia, standing there with a kid in his arms and one of Ultron’s robots in front of him, ready to shoot.   
Every night Clint closed his eyes and turned his back to the robot. Hoping that his body would be shield enough, hoping that this way he would die but that kid would survive.   
Every night he waited for the shots and the pain of the bullets piercing his body.   
Every night the pain never came.   
Every night he turned and he watched Pietro’s body riddled with bullets, there was blood on his shirt, he heard his whispered “You didn’t see it coming” and he saw the light leave his eyes.   
He saw Pietro fall to the ground and he saw the growing sea of red under his body.   
Every night he woke screaming.   
Every night he hoped he wouldn’t hear his own screams.  
Every night he heard it.   
And it was cruel, so cruel. It wasn’t enough that he had barely had the chance to know Pietro, that they had been together for less than a couple of days. The guilt he felt over his death wasn’t enough either.   
Fate had taken away his chance to mourn his lost mate in peace, in the quiet of a silent world.   
The months passed, Clint slept less and less every night, every day the dark circles under his eyes became more evident, and he became more restless and edgy.   
His teammates didn’t know how to deal with him, they didn’t know what his problem was. They didn’t know he had lost his soulmate.   
Only Natasha knew, because Nat was Nat and there was no way to keep something from her. But he didn’t want the others to know, he didn’t want their pity and their sympathy. He didn’t want to hear their voices tinted with sorrow.   
Steve benched him after a couple of mission in which his carelessness almost had him killed; and Clint didn’t even have the strength to fight for his place in the team.   
After a few months they didn’t try to talk with him anymore. The only one who was allowed to talk to him, the only one whose company he could tolerate was Natasha. 

And then the hallucinations started.   
Three months before the sounds had become muffled for a couple of hours than they had disappeared for a day or so and then they had come back stronger than ever. And since then they had never faltered.   
On the third night after his hearing came back again Clint woke up from his nightmare with his scream of anguish in his hears. He sat on the bed and there he was. Pietro was standing just inside his bedroom, he was leaning on the wall just beside the door and he was watching him.   
Clint's breath caught in his throat and he blinked. In the time he took to blink Pietro was gone.   
He stood up and went to the kitchen to make some coffee. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore that night.   
He sat at the kitchen table with his coffee in his hand and shook his head.   
It wasn't bad enough that he didn't have the chance to really mourn Pietro in the quiet of his own grief, now he had to hallucinate him.   
And sure in the last eight months he barely had three hours of sleep per night and even those were plagued by nightmares, so maybe the hallucinations had actually a physiological cause. But still it was cruel. Mostly cause Clint was relatively sure that if he stopped hearing and he was given the chance to live in the silence and physically feel the absence of Pietro, he would be able to sleep a bit better. He wasn't naïve enough to think that he wouldn’t have nightmares, but he knew they would be less frequent. 

Three months passed and the hallucinations never stopped. Every night he woke up from his dream, his screams ringing in his heard and every night Pietro was there. Watching him with such sadness that Clint couldn't breathe. Then he blinked and just like that Pietro was gone.   
His life had become a nightmare.   
After Pietro's death everything had become painful, everything hurt.   
Clint knew how to deal with loss and pain, it’s not like his life had been a walk in the park, but he didn’t know how to deal with this, he didn’t know how to deal with loosing his mind.

Than one night he woke up screaming Pietro’s name and Pietro was there. Standing in his room, leaning against the wall right next to the door, arms crossed.   
This time Clint didn’t blink, he kept his eyes wide open and stared at Pietro.   
\- What are you? – He asked, voice hoarse from the screams. – A ghost? You’re here to haunt me for your death? Cause let me tell you, kid this is going to far. I haven’t had a decent night of sleep ever since you died. Isn’t it enough? –   
\- I’m not a ghost. I decided to die to save that kid, why would I haunt you, old man? – The ghost, hallucination, whatever said.   
Clint’s heart clenched painfully in his chest. Hearing Pietro’s voice after all this time was like breathing again. For the first time in months Clint was happy that he could still hear.   
\- Why are you here then? What are you? – Clint asked, tired.   
Pietro sighed.   
\- I’m… alive. – He said.   
Clint leaned his head against the headboard and closed his eyes.   
\- I saw you die, Pietro. I see you die every night in my dreams. –   
\- I didn’t really die. I just… Wanda says it was some sort of healing coma. I don’t know exactly.-   
Clint’s eyes shot open.   
\- What? You’ve been alive all this time? – He said, his heart pounding.   
\- Yeah. – Pietro said – I mean I woke up a couple of months ago… I’ve been recovering… You know it’s not easy coming back to life… -   
\- Yeah. – Clint said and then sighed. He was definitely losing his mind. He should just have blinked. Then Pietro would be gone and all of this wouldn’t have happened. Because Clint had seen the bullets cut through Pietro’s body, he’d seen him fall and he’s held his body in his arms, and Pietro definitely wasn’t breathing and his heart wasn’t beating. And his world had been silent for hours after that. There’s was no doubt that Pietro was death.   
\- You’re dead. – he repeated.   
\- You can still hear, right? – Pietro asked pushing away from the wall and walking to the bed. –After all this time you can still hear. You know that it doesn’t work this way, right? You know that by now you should be deaf again. –   
Clint nodded.   
\- I can’t always hear. Sometimes… - he said. – It’s different for every person. The time that takes to become deaf it’s different… -   
Clint and Nat had talked multiple times about how weird it was that he could still hear, but he couldn’t let himself hope that what that ghost or whatever it was was telling the truth. He couldn’t cause he saw Pietro die, he saw his soulmate die. And the pain he felt had almost killed him, he couldn’t let himself believe that Pietro was really alive, because he wouldn’t survive to feel a pain like that.  
\- But it’s never this long. – Pietro said trying to reason with him, trying to convince him.   
He sat down on the bed and took Clint’s hand.   
Clint’s breath caught in his throat. The bed had dipped under Pietro’s weight, but ghosts didn’t weigh, right? And Pietro’s hand was warm and real in his, and ghost’s hands don’t feel real, right? And Clint wanted so bad for it to be real. He needed Pietro to be alive.   
\- Why didn’t you tell me the first night I saw you? Why you kept coming here every night and you never said anything. You let me think that I was going crazy, why? –   
Pietro shifted uncomfortable.   
\- They didn’t want you to know. They didn’t want any of the Avengers to know. Only Wanda knew –   
\- Who? Who didn’t want us to know? –   
Pietro shrugged.   
\- I don’t know. Wanda told me and I… At first I was too weak to come and see you. And then… Then I just didn’t know how to tell you. I was scared you wouldn’t believe me… but I was working up the courage…. –   
Clint couldn’t believe that it was true. He still looked at Pietro with suspect in his eyes and Pietro didn’t know how to convince him that he was real, that he was really alive. He didn’t know what else to do so he leaned in and kissed him.   
Clint hadn’t realized how deeply Pietro’s death had affected him. But now, with Pietro kissing him, everything was better, more real. For the first time in months Clint felt alive again.   
\- You’re alive. You’re real. – Clint said hugging Pietro, crushing him against his chest.   
Pietro hugged him back just as tight.  
They stayed like that, hugging for a while.   
Then Pietro gently pushed so that him and Clint were lying on the bed.   
\- Now sleep. You look awful. –   
Clint snorted.   
\- You look good, for someone who’s supposed to be dead. – He said – If I sleep… Will you still be here in the morning? This really isn’t a dream, right? –   
\- I still be here in the morning, I promise. This is real. –   
Clint nodded and put his head on Pietro’s chest. Lulled by the steady sound of his soulmate’s hear beat and by his breath on his hair Clint fell asleep. 

The following morning Clint woke up when ray of sunshine hit his closed eyelashes. For the first time in years it wasn’t a nightmare that woke him. His mind was still clouded by sleep when he opened his eyes and turned his head to look at the other half of the bed. Pietro was there, snoring softly, his arm stretched out toward Clint.   
Clint still couldn’t believe that Pietro was really alive. He half expected to wake up to an empty bed, he half expected to find out that the night before had just been a dream. But Pietro was still there, warm, solid and real next to him.   
He kept quiet and just looked at Pietro thinking about how lucky he was, about how he didn’t deserve a second chance at happiness. But Pietro did. Pietro was young and brave and didn’t deserve to die. And Clint was so lucky, so lucky to have him back.  
\- You’re thinking too loudly, old man. – Pietro muttered – I can hear you. Go back to sleep. It’s early. –  
Clint chuckled and scooted closer to Pietro, threw and arm around his waist and hugged Pietro closer. Then closed his eyes and went back to sleep.   
Pietro was real, he was alive and they had the chance to be together.   
Life was good and he could sleep.


End file.
